I'm in chains

Okay I admit it, I was a bit of a wuss at first. They started off putting a bit of material round my neck, my NECK I tell you, what would you do? I decided to grin and bear it, but then they went even further and decided to click a bit of rope on to it and dry and drag me around with it! Why? It's not as if we were going anywhere interesting, up and down the hall, and then in the back garden. I mean, I do like the back garden but only when I can go where I like, not where they try and tell me to go.

Now it's a different matter, I'm allowed out in the big wide world, although at first I didn't think much of that at all, they'd chain me up, carry me out to 'car,' tell me to be quiet when I tried to provide in car entertainment (well it was better than the catterwauling coming from that CD thing they had playing.) THEN, we'd get somewhere that looked a little interesting, they get me out of 'car' walk along for what seemed like 3 seconds and say it was long enough for my little legs!! I'd only had a sniff or two of lamposts and people's legs. That's not long enough to even start being fun is it? They pretended they had been advised not to walk me too far when I was young, personally I think they just couldn't handle long walks and late nights.

I get all excited when I hear the humans going into my drawer now, I always think they are getting 'lead' out, they think I can't hear it but I always come rushing from wherever I am. Walkies is great fun, why, only the other day I met a potential girlfriend, cute little thing she was, shame I got so excited that I had a little accident right next to her. Her human did not look impressed with me at all, I saw her again yesterday, bit more embarrassing this time, I was leaving a little message. Next time she walks past I shall be ready for her. I'll be leaning all casual against the wall as she walks past, she wont be able to resist me then. I'm just too handsome for my own good really.